[PRL] Fwd: Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good Sou^H^H^HAmerican Ass Whuppin'

[John Clements]

On Apr 1, 2004, at 10:10 PM, Matthias Felleisen wrote:

> Since we talked "Houston" in lab today and the good old
> rainy days, I thought I'd share this message with you,
> which some friend from down there (originally from Georgia)
> sent me this evening. If you're offended by the language
> in the subject line, don't read ...
>
> Begin forwarded message:
>> Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good Southern Ass Whuppin'

Fifteen Ways To Avoid A Good American Ass Whuppin'

>> Avoid a Good Southern Ass Whuppin... Issued by the
>> Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners,
>> Northeasterners, Northwesterners, Westerners and
>> Southwestern Urbanites and Canukians.

Avoid a Good American Ass Whuppin' ... issued by the American
Tourism Bureau to ALL funny-talkin' forriners, especially those
dang immigrants who think they're as good as us.

>> 1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at
>> Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve
>> breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they
>> know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

ditto.

>> 2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Luther,
>> Tammy Lynn, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or
>> we will just HAVE to kick your ass.

ditto.

>> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down
>> here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a
>> flying rat's patootie whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr.
>> Pepper, 7-Up or whatever... it's still a Coke.
>> Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

ditto.

16. Quit tellin' us who to bomb; We'll bomb anyone we damn
well choose to.  If you don't shut up, we'll bomb you too.


"Bring it on!"


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