[PRL] [Fwd: Marc Abrahams] mini-AIR May 2003 - Type oof; The UnBomb;
Bax, Max, Zax
Mitchell Wand
wand at ccs.neu.edu
Tue May 20 17:49:33 EDT 2003
I'm not going to make it a habit of forwarding these, but the concept
of "Type oof" got my attention. Also, check out item 2003-05-13: we
need to get a copy of this publication for the PRL library.
Those of you who find this sort of thing amusing may wish to subscribe
(details below).
--Mitch
------- start of forwarded message (RFC 934 encapsulation) -------
Return-Path: <mini-air at chem.harvard.edu>
Delivered-To: wand at ccs.neu.edu
Errors-To: marca at chem2.harvard.edu
Reply-To: mini-air at chem.harvard.edu
Originator: mini-air at air.harvard.edu
Precedence: bulk
From: Marc Abrahams <marca at chem2.harvard.edu>
Sender: mini-air at chem.harvard.edu
To: Multiple recipients of list MINI-AIR <mini-air at chem.harvard.edu>
Subject: mini-AIR May 2003 - Type oof; The UnBomb; Bax, Max, Zax
Date: Tue, 20 May 2003 16:36:13 -0400 (EDT)
PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE
================================================================
mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 2003-05
May, 2003
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the
- ----------------------------------------------------------------
A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
the journal of inflated research and personalities
================================================================
- -----------------------------
2003-05-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
2003-05-01 Table of Contents
2003-05-02 What's New in the Magazine
2003-05-03 Wide-Ranging Curiosity
2003-05-04 Icthyology en Hotel
2003-05-05 EU Chocolate Directive
2003-05-06 Gibb & Rooker and the Comitology of Chocolate
2003-05-07 Comitology for the Masses
2003-05-08 Unexplosively Explosive, or Vice Versa
2003-05-09 type oof
2003-05-10 Video of Last Year's Ig
2003-05-11 Bax, Max, and Zax
2003-05-12 Chicken Poets Have Roosted
2003-05-13 Concrete Abstracts
2003-05-14 Bulletin of Wire Ropes
2003-05-15 Another Near-DEATH-BY-DISSERTATION
2003-05-16 Fingernail Water Limerick Contest
2003-05-17 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Sticky, Unheard Paralysis
2003-05-18 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Psychoterminology, Soup, Drip Song
2003-05-19 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Sweat on Meat, Mutt Math
2003-05-20 AIRhead Events
2003-05-21 How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
2003-05-22 Our Address (*)
2003-05-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
2003-05-24 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
mini-AIR is
a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-02 What's New in the Magazine
Volume 9, number 3 (May/June 2003) of the Annals of Improbable
Research (AIR) is a special EVERYTHING issue. Highlights include:
<> "Kansas Is Flatter Than a Pancake," by Mark Fonstad, William
Pugatch, and Brandon Vogt. The co-authors present empirical
evidence that this is so.
<> "Good News for Guys," by Stephen Black. The author, an eminent
psychologist, discovers evidence in historical scientific
literature that men are in for a most unexpected surprise, should
they choose to be.
<> "Size, Timing, Everything, and Nothing," by S. Drew. A summary
of the very best documented research on all four of these topics.
..and much more.
The issue is now at the printers, and will be arriving at
subscribers' doorsteps very soon now.
The complete table of contents can be perused at
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume9/v9i3/v9i3-toc.html>
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-03 Wide-Ranging Curiosity
The May/June issue of AIR also includes a special, deliciously
detailed article about the work of a scientist who may well be the
best and truest modern example of a prolific renaissance person.
We are also publishing this article on the AIR web site, as a
special ten-part series. The introduction and Part 1, together
with a special index of topics explored by the researcher, will
appear on Monday, May 26. Subsequently, a new part will appear
every Monday and every Wednesday, until the entire article is
present in all its glory. The parts can be labeled as follows:
Part 1 -- The Early Years
Part 2 -- An Approach to Stop Lights
Part 3 -- Matters of the Mall
Part 4 -- Time Hangs Heavy?
Part 5 -- Motorists' Use of Sirens
Part 6 -- Out Which Way
Part 7 -- The Celebrated Brussels Sprouts
Part 8 -- Caps, Chapel Attendance, and Perceptions of Ground Beef
Part 9 -- Heavy Going, With Integrity and Gloves
Part 10 -- Women in Vans ...and... Into the Future
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-04 Icthyology en Hotel
Icthyologists who travel no longer need anguish that the hours
they spend in a hotel will be "down time" in which they are unable
to continue studying fish.
Investigator Pete Shoemaker alerted us to the scientific
opportunities offered by the Hotel Monaco in Chicago. The hotel's
web site,
<http://ratesandavailability.com/10229343.htm>, presents technical
details:
The Hotel Monaco Chicago offers travelers a temporary pet
-- a complimentary goldfish. A companion goldfish may be
requested when making a reservation or at check-in and
is delivered to the guest's room for their stay.
Goldfish care and feeding is administered by the
trained hotel staff under the guidance of Chicago's
Shedd Aquarium, a partner of the Hotel Monaco Chicago.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-05 EU Chocolate Directive
The science world is once again agonizing over the EU Chocolate
Directive.
The melodrama could come to a head this very week, on May 21 and
22, in York, England, at the Society of Chemical Industry's
conference on "CHOCOLATE, CHOCOLATE FATS AND THE EU CHOCOLATE
DIRECTIVE."
Details are at
<http://www.soci.org/SCI/events/details.jsp?eventID=EV267>
We, like nearly all other persons, organizations, and other human-
affiliated entities, wish the participants well.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-06 Gibb & Rooker and the Comitology of Chocolate
The British Parliament's most recent take on the Chocolate
Directive, as expressed at <http://www.parliament.the-stationery-
office.co.uk/pa/cm199899/cmhansrd/vo990707/text/90707w07.htm>, is
revealing. It consists of the following terse exchange of views
between a Mr. Gibb and a Mr. Rooker.
* * *
MR. GIBB: To ask the Minister of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food
if he will list the European Commission's objections to the
proposed comitology provisions of the proposed EU Chocolate
Directive.
MR. ROOKER: The Commission objected to a part of the proposed
Directive which limited its powers to make technical changes to
the law. However, I am pleased to say that a new Presidency
compromise has now received Commission support and I am hopeful
that a Common Position will be achieved during the Finnish
Presidency.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-07 Comitology for the Masses
We have received several letters asking, "What is comitology?"
Comitology is a highly technical matter. Rather than attempt a
"dumbed down" answer, we refer all inquiries to the experts: the
European Parliament. The European Parliament's current take on
comitology is expressed at
<http://wwwdb.europarl.eu.int/dors/oeil/en/inter51.htm>. This
view, of course, updates the European Parliament's prior view,
which can be still be seen at
<http://europa.eu.int/scadplus/leg/en/cig/g4000c.htm>
Alternatively, one could consult Mr. Gibb and/or Mr. Rooker of the
British Parliament.
To sum up: if you have questions about comitology, please do not
direct them to us.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-08 Unexplosively Explosive, or Vice Versa
It has been variously said that:
(a) the most interesting science is that which
EITHER cures OR causes problems
(b) the most interesting science is that which
BOTH cures AND causes problems
(c) the most interesting science is that for which
it is not obvious whether it will cure problems,
or cause them, or both.
Investigator Brian Josephson has alerted us to what may be an
example comprising all three varieties. That example is:
"Destruction of Nuclear Bombs Using Ultra-High Energy Neutrino
Beam," Hirotaka Sugawara, Hiroyuki Hagura, and Toshiya Sanami,
<http://arXiv.org/abs/hep-ph/0305062>. The authors explain their
work as follows:
"We have shown that it is possible to eliminate the nuclear bombs
from the surface of the earth utilizing the extremely high energy
neutrino beam. When the neutrino beam hits a bomb, it will cause
the fizzle explosion with 3% of the full strength. It seems that
it is not possible to decrease the magnitude of the explosion
smaller than this number at this stage. It is important to
decrease this number to destroy bombs safely. We are not sure what
this means when the plutonium or uranium is used to ignite the
hydrogen bomb. We may just break the bomb or may lead to a full
explosion."
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-09 type oof
Investigator (and LFHCfS member) Dennis McClain-Furmanski has been
studying the flexible functionality demanded of certain U.S.
government employees. He points to U.S. federal job announcement
PAX-OC-0055, listed at
<http://jsearch.usajobs.opm.gov/ftva.asp?OPMControl=IL7705>, which
says exactly the following:
"The type oof specialized experience required will be
identified in the individuao position deccription
submitted at the time a vacancy is to be filled."
Investigator McClain-Furmanski translates this as meaning: "We
will tell you what experience you need in order to get the job
when we hire you," and adds that "The ornate spelling is, of
course, just icing." The spelling is also a further indication of
the afore-hinted functional flexibility required of the
jobholders.
Investigator McClain-Furmanski conducted a brief investigation,
with this result: "That quote from the job announcement appears on
every engineering psychologist announcement I've looked at."
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-10 Video of Last Year's Ig
You can watch all of last year's (2002) Ig Nobel Prize ceremony at
<http://www.uwstout.edu/chemistry/ignobel/igvideo2002.html>.
Special thanks and huzzahs to Forrest Schultz and Juliet Fox of
the University of Wisconsin-Stout, who hoisted it up onto the web,
to Bruce, Tal, and Julian Petschek who filmed and edited the
video, and of course to all the winners and other participants in
the ceremony. (Who, we have been asked, are those musical
performers at the very beginning? They are none other than the
Dresden Dolls, whose web site is at
<http://www.brainwashed.com/dresden/>)
The Ig Nobel Board of Governors are now digesting the splendid
morass that is this year's nomination pile. If you would like to
nominate someone for an Ig, please do so SOON. General info about
the ceremony, past winners, etc., is, as always, at
<http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html>
This year's ceremony will occur on Thursday evening, October 2, at
Harvard's Sanders Theatre.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-11 Bax, Max, and Zax
Bax, Max, and Zax. The names ring out. They sing out. They are, at
any rate, the co-authors of the first paper to be included in our
new project, the RHYMING MONIKERS RESEARCH CITATION COLLECTION.
Investigator Russell Mortishire-Smith unearthed this project-
inspiring citation:
"Measurement of Long-Range 13C-13C J Couplings in a 20-kDa
Protein-Peptide Complex," Ad Bax, David Max, and David Zax,
Journal of the American Chemical Society, vol. 114, no. 17,
1992, pp. 6923-5. The authors are at what is abbreviatingly
referred to as the Lab. Chem. Phys., Natl. Inst. Diabetes
Dig. Kidney Dis., Bethesda, Maryland.
If you know of an impressive citation of this type, please
contribute it to the Collection.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-12 Chicken Poets Have Roosted
The judges in the first and last annual SELF-WARMING CHICKEN
LIMERICK COMPETITION have chosen the winners, each of whom in some
sense explored the research report:
"Heat Produced by Broiler Chickens in a Commercial
Transport Vehicle," P. J. Kettlewell, R.P. Hoxey,
and M.A. Mitchell, Journal of Agricultural Engineering
Research, vol. 75, No. 3, Mar 2000, pp. 315-26.
The winners each will receive a free, lukewarm issue of the Annals
of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks:
INVESTIGATOR JOANNE SCHMITZ:
For chicken soup simply sublime,
Combine salt, pepper, water, and thyme,
Two cups of wild rice,
A pinch of allspice,
Some chickens, a truck, and some time.
INVESTIGATOR ALICE KASWELL:
Kettlewell, Mitchell, and Hoxey --
Not one of them studies epoxy.
Nice hot chickens in trucks
Are what these muckamucks
Stick to in their research orthodoxy.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-13 Concrete Abstracts
We heartily recommend, with admiration but without having access
to it, the world's best-named research tool: Concrete Abstracts.
Details are at <http://www.normas.com/ACI/PAGES/CAQS98.html>.
Thanks to investigator Kenneth J. Sher for bringing it to our
attention.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-14 Bulletin of Wire Ropes
In answer to all those who have been asking us "Can you lend us
your back issues of the BULLETIN OF THE INTERNATIONAL ORGANISATION
FOR THE STUDY OF THE ENDURANCE OF WIRE ROPES?" we say to one and
all: Yes, we have no back issues of the BULLETIN OF THE
INTERNATIONAL ORGANISATION FOR THE STUDY OF THE ENDURANCE OF WIRE
ROPES. We are, and always will be grateful to Richard Wakeford for
making the BULLETIN's existence known to us, but we have never
knowingly possessed a copy, nor even seen one.
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-15 Another Near-DEATH-BY-DISSERTATION
Investigator Hauke Reddmann is yet another individual who was
nearly done in by his dissertation. He writes:
"When my father drove me to the printing shop (I have no car) he
didn't take directional advice, and in the result had to turn left
where it was forbidden, across a bus lane. A bus *was* coming. The
bus had very good brakes, or I couldn't write you now."
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-16 Fingernail Water Limerick Contest
We invite you to enter the first and last annual FINGERNAIL WATER
LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that
elucidates this research report, which was brought to our
attention by investigator Carl Einar Sjøgren:
"Determining Water Content in Human Nails with a Portable Near-
Infrared Spectrometer," Mariko Egawa, Tadao Fukuhara, Motoji
Takahashi and Yukihiro Ozaki, Applied Spectroscopy, vol. 57, no.
4, 2003, pp. 473-8. The authors explain that:
The water content of human nail plates was determined using
a portable near-infrared (NIR) spectrometer with an InGaAs
photodiode array detector. [Data] were collected from 108
cut nail plates with different relative humidity and in-vivo
from fingernails.
RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your
limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form.
PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, nail-biting issue of
the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per
entrant) to:
FINGERNAIL WATER LIMERICK CONTEST
c/o <marca at chem2.harvard.edu>
- -----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-17 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Sticky, Unheard Paralysis
Each month we select for your special attention a research report
that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will
enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it)
for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month:
"Earwax and Level of Paralysis," J.H. Frisbie and E.H. Zahn,
Spinal Cord, vol. 41, no. 4, April 2003, pp. 247-8.
(Thanks to W. Bradley Jacobs for bringing this to our
attention.) The authors, who are at Department of Veterans
Affairs Medical Center, West Roxbury, MA, and Harvard
Medical School, Boston, MA, respectively, explain that:
"Patients with C2 tetraplegia accumulate more earwax and
request its removal more often than patients with lower
levels of paralysis."
- ----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-18 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Psychoterminology, Soup, Drip Song
Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've
posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the
whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to:
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>
==> Howard J. Brannd, The Father of Psychoterminology
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/h_brannd_m
emorial.html>
==> The Bertrand Russell Murder Mysteries (Chapters 4-7)
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/br_mystery_4.html>
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/br_mystery_5.html>
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/br_mystery_6.html>
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/br_mystery_7.html>
==> Samuel "Marshmallow" Pepys
<http://www.improbable.com/news/2003/apr/pepys.html>
==> How Many Beans Make Soup?
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume9/v9i2/bean_soup.html>
==> "Till All the Drip Dries Up"
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/paperair/volume9/v9i2/doctors_spouse.html>
==> INTERVIEW: Martin Fleischmann, Cold Fusion Pioneer
"http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/fleischmann_interview.html>
==> IN MEMORIAM: Vellum Manikowski, the "Cosmic Pie" Man
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/pie_man.html>
==> A Decade of Burnt Food
<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/classical/articles/burnt_food_1.html
==> New Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club members
<http://www.improbable.com/projects/hair/hair-club-top.html>
THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT
<http://www.improbable.com/navstrip/whatsnew.html>
- -----------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-19 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Sweat on Meat, Mutt Math
BALKING AND RENEGING
"Probabilistic Analysis of a Repairable System With Warm Standbys
Plus Balking and Reneging," Kuo-Hsiung Wang and Jau-Chuan Ke,
Applied Mathematical Modelling, vol. 27, 2003, pp. 327-36. (Thanks
to Tom Roberts for bringing this to our attention.) The authors
are at National Chung-Hsing University and National Taichung
Institute of Technology, Taiwan ROC, respectively.
ACCIDENTAL SMARTS
"Intelligence and Behavior and Motor Vehicle Accident Mortality,"
B.J. O'Toole, Accident Analysis and Prevention, vol. 22, June
1990, pp. 211-21. The author, who is at Westmead Hospital,
Australia, reports that:
Risk of mortality was higher for men with lower scores
on the army intelligence test...
SWEAT ON MEAT
"Modeling the Thermal Conductivity of Meats," V.E. Sweat,
Transactions of the ASAE, vol. 18, no. 3, 1975, pp. 564-8.
MUTT MATH
"Do Dogs Know Calculus?" Timothy J. Pennings, College Mathematics
Journal, vol. 34, no. 3, May 2003, pp. 178-82. (Thanks to Barry
Cipra for bringing this to our attention.) The author, who is at
Hope College, explains that:
In all calculus books appears the problem of minimizing
the time to get to a point on the other side of a river,
running part of the way and swimming the rest. Isomorphic to
this, if you are a dog, is the problem of minimizing the
time to get to a ball that your master has thrown into a
lake. The author has made measurements of how his dog
retrieves the ball and finds that he indeed seems to choose
the optimal path... [It] is possible that [the author's dog]
Elvis chose paths that were actually BETTER than the
calculated ideal path.
- ------------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-20 AIRhead Events
==> For details and updates see <http://www.improbable.com>
==> Want to host an event? <marca at chem2.harvard.edu> 617-491-4437
THIRTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003
Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA
INFO: <http://www.improbable.com/ig/ig-top.html>
IG INFORMAL LECTURES - SAT, OCT 4, 2003
Details TBA.
-----------------
CALTECH, PASADENA, CALIFORNIA TUES, JANUARY 27, 2004
Details TBA.
AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY, 2004
Annual AIR special session as part of the annual meeting of the
American Association for the Advancement of Science. Details TBA.
ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND - MARCH, 2004
IG NOBEL / AIR Tour will be a featured part of the UK's NATIONAL
SCIENCE WEEK.AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, numerous IG NOBEL WINNERS,
and other of Britain's most and least celebrated scientist will do
improbable public shows in various cities. Details TBA.
- --------------------------------------------------------------
2003-05-21 How to Subscribe to AIR (*)
Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print
journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not
just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in
this newsletter).
...............................................................
Name:
Address:
Address:
City and State:
Zip or postal code:
Country
Phone: FAX: E-mail:
...............................................................
SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year):
USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53
Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US
Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US
...............................................................
BACK ISSUES are available, too:
First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues
purchased at same time: $6 each
...............................................................
Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or
Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 <air at improbable.com>
- -----------------------------------------------------
2003-05-22 Our Address (*)
Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927
EDITORIAL: marca at chem2.harvard.edu
SUBSCRIPTIONS: air at improbable.com
WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>
- ---------------------------
2003-05-23 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)
Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever
appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the
material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR
for commercial purposes.
------------- mini-AIRheads -------------
EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca at chem2.harvard.edu)
MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last
few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson <wendy at posh.com>
WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin
(airmaster at improbable.com)
COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen at neu.edu)
ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne
DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Abrahams
CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest
Ersatz, S. Drew
MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto
AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon
Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts
(c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research
- -----------------------------------------------------
2003-05-24 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)
What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!)
tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to:
LISTPROC at AIR.HARVARD.EDU
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words
SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE
(You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.)
----------------------------
To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
============================================================
------- end -------
More information about the PRL
mailing list